GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
