I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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