I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
