This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
