My boss' voice literally gives me gas
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
