I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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