I just pynch a tree in the face
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
