Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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