Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
