Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
