Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
