He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
