Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
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