I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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