I want to walk on stilts...naked
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
