just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
