I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
