And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
