omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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