This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
