the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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