My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
