and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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