I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Randomize
