he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
