Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
