Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Randomize
