using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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