Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
