Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
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