we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
