It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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