hell yes lets make some ravioli
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
