At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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