do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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