i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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