just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
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