im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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