when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
