so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Randomize
