Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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