Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
where are my pants?
in the oven.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
