Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Just pee around me
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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