he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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