these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
