My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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