just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Who died my cat blue again?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
