True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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