Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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