This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Ladies don't puke and tell
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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