She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
